What i've down ?

yet another day .
haiis .
been thinking much today .
what have i been doing all this while ?
its it worthwhile getting into troubles?
is it really fun to be a nuisance?
is this th life of what i really wanted?
all those mistakes that i've done.
is it possible for time to replace it ?
i'm really down .
broken down into pieces ?
hais .
chatted a long while with Angus today .
seriously ,
we always say 1 things and do another.
but this time ,
we really sort our thinkings out .
tears were about to roll down ,
but i control it .
i dont wanna be that useless .
thinking bout all this .
what have i really achieve all this while ?
nothing but heavy consequences and price to pay for .
am i really going to carry on like this ?
carry on and land myself into boys home ?
remand prison ?
or what ?
as i smoke ,
every puff i took ,
i'm deep down thinking ,
why have i change .
change so much that i just realise ,
i'm no longer whom i use to be .
from primary school till now.
th past goodboy without any worries and just studying .
to 3years today ,
grown up without using brains at all .
fucking myself hard ,
but whats th use?
i dont seem to listen to those good advice ,
i know what i'm capable of .
i know i can study,
i know i'm able to achieve good results and do my parents proud ,
but i'm totally th oppsite now .
late for school daily?
low attendence in school ?
more shit cases ?
defience?
fighting ?
sleeping in class ?
bullying ?
all that i'm doing now .
landing me in poor results ,
dissapointment to parents ,
and ruining my own future at hand .
i really can't take this longer .
i want to change ,
i know i'm able to do what is expected of me .
but why am i hesitating ?
just whats wrong ?
i know i can think .
think whats good for myself .
seriously.
its not th bad influence i get from those company.
its myself getting influence by them .
reprimanding myself ,
by others,
parents,
teacher .
hais .
maybe ,
what i need is more time .
to really get me stable down .
and really do what i should do .
and till here .
D: